“Oh! You give such good advice!”
Did you like the two stories I shared the past two days: My buddy, Comfort Zone and Why Me? Olivia and Serene were newbies at creating digital stories. But no more.
I love helping people tell their own stories because listening to them validates them as a person of value. Listening tells the storyteller: YOU matter.
Many years ago, I spent a two-year stint in the Philippines as a missionary. I had learned enough Taglish (Tagalog + English) to get around but not enough to communicate deeply.
One day, a Filipina and I were talking. She began to bear her heart out to me. She spoke in pure Tagalog. She was crying and talking very fast. I picked up words here and there but in reality the processor in my head was working very hard but I was clueless about what she was saying. I kept thinking, “Should I ask her to speak in English?” I didn’t want to interrupt. She talked a long time.
Then suddenly she stopped and said, “Oh! You give such good advice!”
Advice? 😳 I was too embarrassed to tell her “Advice? I didn’t understand what you said!” I figured it didn’t matter. She had found her own answers. I walked away learning the power of listening 聽.
I learned that day to take time to listen when someone shares their stories. And I mean really listen.
- Not busying our heads formulating answers and advices
- Not waiting to pounce in with our own stories
- Not judging (this is just ONE story of his/her many stories)
- Listening with all of me
- Giving them a safe space to be who they are
- Believing that mostly the answers can be found within themselves because they know the questions best
- It’s not about me (the listener) but the other (the storyteller)
Listening is a gift we give.
One day, I will write about learning boundaries because we can overdo a good thing. But that’s a topic for another day.
My prayer for you is that you will always have friends who give you the time of day to listen to you.