Finding joy
Some of my caregiver friends are going through very challenging seasons caring for their elderly parents. I told them:
I consider my season the lightest compared to what you are going through. I’ve had my share of winter. Right now, I have to do the daily maintenance work but I’m thankful we are not in any “crisis”. For me, it’s just matter to managing and getting things done.
Mum was mildly grouchy yesterday for having another jab but she bounced up again. So thankful she’s cooperative. The nature of seasons is that it changes.
God is our constant through it all.
I spoke too soon! The day after saying that, Mum starting saying her feet hurt.
I am thankful she got see the doctor at the nearby polyclinic. Usually it’s hard to get an appointment at the last minute. The GP said her ingrown toenails and bunions need attention. She gave us antibiotic cream and anti-fungal drops. We have to wait for the hospital to arrange for her to see the podiatrist (feet specialist).
The doctor said Mum will likely have to have her big toenails removed to make way for new ones to grow properly. A friend said her mother has the same issue. They managed to trim the nails and train them to grow properly. Normally I take these things in stride. I have to stay strong in order to manage the shifting goals posts. This time it took me a little more time for me to manage my own feelings. I felt very sorry for her. I didn’t tell her everything.
I try to turn her negative experiences like medical appointments into a fun day out – eat her favourite chicken curry meal after the appointment and recount the day’s blessings. I cheer her on and tell her how brave she is and how well she is doing. I work hard at this because I don’t want her to get into negative thought cycles. It’s hard to get out of it once we go into these kinds of thought cycles.
She was grouchy the other day when she had to do her eye jab but a good meal and tabao (take home) snacks helped changed her mood from negative to joy.
