Ramblings for the day…
8.30 am Took my Filipina guest to Kopitiam for breakfast. Went round and round trying to find a parking lot. Then waited and waited for a vacant table… Yeah! We did get some Kaya toast and good Kopi and Teh.
9.15 am Took her to the MRT station.
9.30 am Went to the office to get some work done. Sigh… Took triple time trying to get a simple artwork done (Urgh! Learning new software).
1.30 pm Went to Geylang to buy some Nasi Briyani for Dad. He was delighted 🙂
2.00 pm Picked Dad up from the nursing home. Turned on Carreras, Domingo, Secombe… for Dad.
3.00 pm Had my (late) lunch. Then remembered I had left my can of paint in the office. I wanted to paint some picture frames for the office that I had brought home.
3.30 pm Decided to take Dad for a ride with me to the office. Dropped Brian’s domestic helper, Sofi, off at his place to clean house. Dad was happy to tag along — it isn’t often he gets to do what “normal” people do.
4.00 pm Got home with my paint… finished painting 10 frames. Dad was happy to get into the “action” by instructing me about the paint job…
5.00 pm Tired. Dozed off in between trying to talk to Dad and listening to music.
5.50 pm Put the Briyani on the stove to warm it up for dinner (in between painting).
6.15 pm Turned off stove. Went to pick Sofi up.
6.35 pm Dug into the sumptuous, celesterol ladened Chicken and Kambing Briyani. (Dad loved it!)
Did more this and that (Gosh! My memory fails me — what exactly did I do?)
8.00 pm Took Dad back to the nursing home. Decided to take Dad to church tomorrow. Made arrangements to pick him up at 7.30 am since I have the car with me.
Well, if you have been THIS patient in reading my ramblings, then you “deserve” at least to know what’s really really going on in my heart… I’ve been kicking myself the last few days. I discovered parts of me I don’t like, that I feel absolutely embarrassed and stupid about. I discovered I’m not good at managing my emotions — and the whole world can see it but me!! Sigh.
And the other potentially depressing thought… Loving a person is something I can handle (I think). The scary part is whether I will be loved by them (without having to resort to female manipulation!) When you love someone, you feel somewhat “in control” — the scary part is whether THEY will love you (that they WANT to love you and LIKE to love you). It’s the best part I guess when they do.
Wah! I hope somebody special will love me the way I’d like to be loved 🙂 whether or not I ever get to the point where I can “manage” my emotions.